Guide your child through the treason
1 year and a half to 4 and a half years old have a bad temper. You feel strange. He loses his temper for a little bit: you are forbidden from eating a piece of sugar. You refuse to give him your mobile phone, or just for you to let him stop the toy in his hand.When he came to eat, he became strangely violent, crying dimly and dark, and at this time he was the age when he started talking, and he would even say something you can’t accept: Mom is bad, hate mom and the like.
Your child is currently in a new phase: the first period of rebellion in life.
From learning to say “no” to waging war.
His anger is often associated with his deprived rights: you refuse his wishes or confiscate his belongings.
Children of this age only know to enjoy joy.
When happiness is deprived, they can’t control their emotions, they won’t be patient and tolerant; of course, this has to do with his incompletely mature brain.
How to stay calm through this period.
This is normal child behavior, human weakness, do not lose the confidence to educate children and make mistakes to find their own education for no reason.
If you shout loudly, it will only fuel the fire.
Maybe he will stop crying because of your violence, but deep down he will feel even less secure.
In the face of such crying, it is better to divert attention by entertaining yourself first.
”Come, let’s listen to music!
“If he still ignores you, then you can start by yourself. If this doesn’t calm him down, let him go back to his house and get sullen.
Separation from him decreased, and when he began to calm down and be with him again, “Now we can go out and play?
Are you thirsty?
“Pay attention to children in the same way in public places and at home.
Otherwise, the child’s desire for self-expression and anger can cultivate a good actor.
With the attention of many spectators, he felt as if he had found an umbrella, and he would cry even harder.
If the child cries in public, immediately isolate the child from the crowd and take him home as soon as possible.
Avoid asking him to work against you, and give him a choice every time, for example, for a child who is unwilling to go to kindergarten in the morning: should we go to kindergarten or go to the hospital?
After each cry, a child has experienced a physical and mental exhaustion. After crying, there are several minutes of sobbing. At this time, he should be assured that your relationship has not changed because of this. Hug gentlyLet him forget the unpleasantness just now.
Finally, comfort the child and tell him that you understand how he feels. He has the right to get angry, and then deny his protest. Although crying, this will not change your decision.
5 year old declaration of independence You feel stranger One day suddenly, he decides to do everything by himself: get up, dress yourself, push the button on the elevator . even go to kindergarten by yourself!
Who helped him and who was in a hurry; the next day, he didn’t want to make anything, and even he didn’t bother to take off his socks, which was the real him?
Coming from the stage of rejecting others, children begin to have the desire for independence.
The desire to accomplish independently shows his small desire for power and his instinct to challenge his limits: how much can he change to his environment?
This is a good opportunity for the child to improve, but many parents have not responded yet and still take good care of him.
Parents’ goodwill protective measures have initially killed the child’s ability to independently control themselves.
In addition, uniqueness also interferes with and affects the child’s progress. It is no wonder that three days of fishing and two days of drying nets.
How to spend this period to encourage and support his desire for independence, some he decided to wear his own shoes, and even put his left foot into his right shoe.
All you have to do is keep things interesting and give direction.
Just help him remember what signs can distinguish left and right feet, and finally congratulate him for his progress!
Some small losses are inevitable. Maybe you are delaying some time now, but you will win more time after that.
A child has a desire to learn, and his maturity has taken a big step forward.
Conversely, if you prevent his knowledge-seeking behavior, he may lose this ability to learn.
If you are in a hurry, try to get him to practice as much as possible or help him directly.
If by the age of 4, he is still in the process of reaching out to open his mouth, then you should re-examine the previous education method.
Maybe the clothes have the wrong buttonholes, and the face is not washed. Accept what he does not do perfectly, don’t demand it.
Of course, you cannot ignore security issues.
When he proposes to do things beyond his own ability, explain to him that there is something that an age group can do, and currently he is too young.
Let him look forward to his growth.
The growth of every little person is accompanied by endless surprises, thrills and surprises, which make parents dizzying.
Guiding the child is like driving a small boat in the vast sea. In order to better understand each of the surprises, the psychological reasons behind the thrills and surprises, we have summarized a few typical periods of psychological growth for you.
8 months of irritability. You feel stranger. A cute baby smiles at anyone, no matter who holds it.
However, suddenly one day, he no longer accepts the hug of anyone, he has a small face to all those who are not in the close range, his carefree smile becomes uneasy and anxious; he sticks his mother from morning to nightAs soon as his mother was away, he said to himself dissatisfied, alas.
At this time, often his father’s kiss will not calm him down.
Only the mother who was by his side every day, feeding him and changing clothes, could approach him.
Babies have begun to recognize their births. They can distinguish between loved ones and strangers, and there are also profound differences in love among relatives.
With the exception of his closest mother, he even needs to keep a distance from anyone in order to have personal space.
He began to call himself a doll that could not be manipulated by others, and his personality had gradually emerged.
At this time, the baby’s world is the world he sees, and those objects outside his field of vision are in another world.
He believes that the existence of his mother depends on him. If his mother left him and entered a world without him, he would simply replace him outside his mother’s life, how could he accept it?
Think about him for yourself: Your baby really doesn’t understand, “Why can’t my mother be with me for 24 hours?
“How to get through this period and let him associate with strangers naturally, don’t force him, but don’t indulge him too much.
Try to give him a sense of security.
Don’t forcibly separate from him, just to get him used to the days without you.
Don’t expect a brief disappearance to make him slowly get used to being separated from you.
If you have started working again, you must be separated from him during the day and leave him with an item that smells like you, some soft pajamas, and a silk scarf to make him feel that you have not completely left.
Don’t think that he doesn’t understand what you say, tell him that you will come back soon, and you don’t need to talk about it, it is enough to make some simple sentences.
For example: Mom likes you, Mom kisses you, Mom will come back soon, these simple sentences will give him peace of mind.
Don’t set off while he’s sleeping, don’t leave without saying goodbye to him.
Maybe you will find it easier to do this than to go out in his desperate cry; but next time, he will even resist sleeping because his mother will disappear when he is unaware.
Playing with the cat The cat hid his face, then appeared again, repeated several times, hid his face again, and then showed a little doll, so that although we were not with him, alternatives still existed.
When he was refusing to feed at the age of one and a half to two and a half years, he turned his head to refuse; when he was getting dressed, he looked around and pretended not to see; or just said “no”!
He objected to all our suggestions: go for a walk, or take a bath, take a look at the grandmother’s house, and even some of the things that he usually likes, he will refuse to pretend.
In the end, the child only does what his parents told him to do.
But now he started to discover: you don’t do what he wants to do.
It was further discovered that even the parents were struggling to confront him.
He has no right to touch those beautiful vases, he ca n’t eat those dazzling food, he ca n’t run fast, he ca n’t wear less, he ca n’t . Between 1 and 18 months, the children found “no” in their parents ‘lips.Words-Simple but magical words with power.
No, it is a strong confirmation of self, and no, it is a profound expression of self-expectation.
I decide for myself!
The child’s self-awareness is further awakened.
His first “No” was relatively easy to reverse, because they hadn’t learned to bargain.
First you have to insist on your own ideas, and then start to think of ways: At this time, you can use some distractions, such as: Mom is going to shop, but you can go through the small park on the street.
He will definitely get dressed himself, forgetting that he said not to go out.
On some major issues, learn to be firm: that’s it, there is no other choice!
Parents can cooperate and agree with each other, leaving no room for their children.
Master the principles of sleeping time, good eating habits, and respect for others. These are things you cannot compromise. Others, such as wearing pink skirts or red pants, why not let your children choose?
As the child grows, his rejection becomes more and more difficult to be reversed, so that the impatient mother and father conflict with him.
Children seem to be challenging their parents’ decision-making: Who is the leader?
At this time, what the parents need to do is to let him understand that in this matter, the “boss” is definitely not him.
Of course, there are some calm compromises adopted by parents, which may be temporarily eased, but what the little stubborn needs is to learn to master the scale of things.